بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
السلام عليكم و رحمة الله و بركاته
Well-being of your nafs (الصحه النفسيه) – Part 1
· A sound heart remains hopeful when facing calamities, but for others they just ignite when difficulties happen, why? Because their inside is ‘dry’, it’s like a dry field that ignites when lightning strikes. But the sound heart is ‘green’ – it’s alive and blooming.
· Principles to the well-being of your nafs:
o The reality of this life is hardship and toil
o Why is there hardship? So the purpose of your creation is realized
o Rest and tranquility is found when you seek guidance and safety from Allah (swt)
o From the signs of ‘healthy’ nafs is to benefit from past experiences and to see that Allah (swt) nurtures and elevates the person through calamities in order to become stronger to face matters.
o The calamity that befalls anyone is completely suitable to his strength and the shaitan doesn’t weaken him.
o Absolute trust that whatever is lost in your life will be replaced with something better
o The one whose nafs is sound will look at his past and see how Allah (swt) has been good to him and he looks at his future with the same vision that just as Allah (swt) has been good to me in the past, He will be good to me until the end.
· The reason for this topic: the reality of the slave is He worships Allah (swt) in this life in order to make himself better and better for His Rabb. The result from all the worships is to make you a righteous slave – a reformed and pure slave so that you can be in the vicinity of Allah (swt) in paradise. The person who didn’t better and reform himself in this life is an evil self, and such a person is not suitable to be in paradise, he cannot be in the vicinity of Allah (swt). The one who is suitable to be in paradise, but had sins he didn’t repent from him, then he will have to be purified first and then he can enter paradise. And there is the person who strived in bettering himself in this life, so he will be suitable to be in paradise from the start, without entering the hellfire to be purified. May Allah (swt) make us among them.
· Three types of hearts:
o Sound heart (قلب سليم): this is the successful one, who reformed himself and with His Rabb. He will enter paradise from the start.
o Sick heart (قلب مريض): this one mixed good deeds with evil deeds, so he will have to be purified in the hellfire before entering paradise.
o Dead heart (قلب ميت): this is the failure one, the one who didn’t reform himself in this life, and disbelieved in Allah (swt). This one does not enter paradise, may Allah (swt) protect us. Ameen.
· How can you protect the well-being of your nafs? You have to observe and watch yourself. How does your nafs change and move so you can identify if the nafs is sound or if it’s sick. If you find your nafs to be sound, then you need to take care of this soundness. We will not talk about the sicknesses in detail, but we will discuss the signs of a sound nafs.
· The first thing that needs to be understood is this life is built to have hardship and toil.
· As Allah (swt) says in Surah Al Balad 4: (لَقَدۡ خَلَقۡنَا ٱلۡإِنسَـٰنَ فِى كَبَدٍ) (Verily, We have created man in toil) – we are (فِى كَبَدٍ) – as if we are inside (كَبَدٍ). And don’t think you’re the only one facing hardships, each and every single one of us is included, there is no one who is excluded – not the young or old, or the poor or rich, or healthy or sick. We face hardship from the time of birth. One of the scholars said: Imagine the baby is already having his umbilical cord cut, then he’s wrapped tightly as if he’s a ruler stick, he’s already tired and screaming, he wants to be fed, and the mother feels this commotion. Then he gets circumcised, he grows up and faces different teachers and students in school. Then he gets married, and gets occupied with the children and the people. He toils in building a house, and then he gets old and his knees and feet fail him.
· We will only have rest in paradise. When Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked when can we rest? He said when we set foot in paradise.
· You’ll find we might be in a pleasant relationship with so many people, but there is one that you just can’t stand. You talk about pardoning and you tell others to pardon, but when it comes to this one person, you just can’t do it, you can’t (ٱقۡتَحَمَ ٱلۡعَقَبَةَ) (attempt to pass on the path that is steep (i.e. the path which will lead to goodness and success).) This is a test. And you will find this one person that you can’t stand is not far away, but inside the house – whether it’s the husband, children, servants, in-laws, etc. Always in this life you’ll face someone who’ll make your eyes pop.
· People especially when they’re younger, think they will have the dream job, have the dream house, marry the romeo, and live happily ever after. Many times they are shocked to find the job is not easy, the boss is difficult, someone in the office is hard to deal with. The girl gets married and she has a fight with her husband the first week, and tells her mom, ‘what is this you married me off to? Where’s the candle-light dinners, where’s the going out every night, where’s the sweet talk?’ She saw something different on TV and thought this is what her husband will be like, subhan Allah.
· You find their expectations are shattered and they start to despair, as if there’s no hope. Or you find the one who gets disillusioned about marriage and says ‘I don’t want to get married, I’ve seen so many ‘ugly situations’ and I don’t want to deal with it’. They don’t understand this life has toil and hardship – there’s (كَبَدٍ).
· Or a person thinks if I have what I want, then I won’t have problems. Is it true the more you have, the less problems you’ll get? Of course not. Someone might be living in a big house and their only form of communication with their children is through a mobile and another might be in a smaller house, but her children are with her and she talks to them face to face. Richness is not by having things – richness is being rich and satisfied with Allah (swt).
· A person might say ‘I’m tired, I can’t deal with this anymore, I don’t want any more tests.’, but the reality is we are tested until death. We want everything easily, we want everything ready by the press of a button. A person might say, ‘if I get the house, I’ll be happy’, ‘if I get a child, I’ll be happy’, thinking that will be the end to their problems, but is there anyone with a house or child who didn’t face problems? Of course not.
· The most important thing is the person should take care and protect his deen while in a calamity. We think things will come easy, but it will come easy in paradise. Plant the seeds in the duniya and you will see the fruits in paradise, but our problem is we want to see the fruits in front of us now, subhan Allah.
· Know when facing any hardship or calamities – you need to be patient with the decree of Allah (swt), and cling to the promise of Allah (swt) that He is with the patient ones.
· When you ponder the Quran which Allah (swt) sent as a guidance, mercy and cure for the believers, then your sorrows and grief melt away, and your sadness is replaced with joy.
To be continued in sha’a Allah.
